Celebracadabraaaaa

Now that's a mouthful... and a new VH1 REALITY SHOW!


Whaaaaaaat? Yes. Ant and other unknown celebrities compete to learn magic. They are performing magic to win $100,000. This sounds horrible, so that means there will be more blogs to come.

Hot Mess

Hot Mess a.k.a. Britney Spears. About two minutes ago, I saw the VMA opening. This reminded me of the drag queens in the drag show I recently saw. Was she hung over or drunk? She just marked through the whole thing, and barely even did the lip syncing. She had no energy, and her ratty hair didn't help her out at all.

I'm not writing about this to diss on Britney Spears. I am just confused as to who saw that and thought it was worth putting on the air. It was boring and sad. Someone really needed to do her a favor and not let her perform. I mean it was cruel. They just exploited how much of a disaster she is now for ratings. Sad.

It's weird to watch MTV, the station I used to watch all the time in high school, and think how stupid it is. The people on the shows are my age. When I was younger it must have been cool to see the older people doing all that grown-up stuff. Now that I am that age, I realize it's all the stupid people that are on those shows. It's like when you grow too old to be the kids that Nickelodeon is talking to in their commercials. You are the adult that thinks kids don't know anything and can't do anything.

When I was a young kid, I thought I could do anything, and didn't get why adults were so negative. Well, we aren't negative, just realistic. Maybe we need some of that optimism though. Whether Nickelodeon was marketing to kids for financial reasons or to hold up some greater ideal to change the world, I think they were on to something.

The Pick-up Artist

So, I was going to blog about that stupid looking VH1 show, but miss Natalie Dee already wrote exactly what I was going to say. Now I don't have to watch it or write about it. Sweet Deal.

Bravo and a Bruise

Will and I can't get enough of Bravo. They have lots of reality TV, which as an actor I should be against. However, it's very addictive. Also Bravo supports gay rights and the arts so I'm down with them. Anyway all their shows provide excellent character studies. The most entertainment value, however, comes from their competitions. Here they are in order of creation:

PROJECT RUNWAY: The first and the best. Like most TV I get hooked-on, there was a marathon running the first time I saw it. Luckily for me my roommate also loved the show, as well as the people in the costume shop during my practicums.





TOP CHEF: Next and slightly less addictive -- mostly because you can't fully experience food through a television screen. You don't really get to judge the way you can with clothing, or...


TOP DESIGN: Design. This show sucked. Boring people, boring host, and boring challenges.







SHEAR GENIUS: Not so genius. Let's face it. There isn't enough you can do with hair to warrant an entire show. Hopefully, there won't be another attempt at this one.

So why this recap? Well Top Chef Season 3 airs tonight! Yeah! My feeling is that the first season of any reality show is always the best. They don't know what is going to happen, and the people they choose are slightly less cartoony. Regardless of this being the third season, it's something to look forward to watching.

AND I promised a bruise, so here it is:


It looks about 10x worse in person (more red and purpley). I think I kicked myself during rehearsal. Yeah, I'm that girl.

X Effect

Okay, here's the new reality MTV show. Why anyone would go on this show is beyond me.

The premise: Two ex's have moved on and are in new relationships. These 2 couples decide to spend their spring break together, fully paid, with MTV cameras. However, when they show up they are told the ex's will be spending the week together, and their significant others will be going home.

The surprise: The ex's enjoy a spa, room service and each other, while "secretly" their boyfriend and girlfriend watch the whole thing from another part of the hotel. At the end they decide who they want to be with... wow.

This seems like disaster from the get go. Clearly if your significant other has any desire to spend spring break with their ex, in any capacity, there is a problem. I watched two episodes of this show, and it takes minutes for the ex's (called X's) to rekindle their old feelings. Then their boy/girlfriends (called O's) who are spying also hook-up because they feel betrayed.

The fun games: The X's wear a bracelet they think is used like a credit card, but really it let's their significant others know if they are touching by making a red light go on in their "spying" bungalow. Then the O's get to decide what activity the X's are going to do. If they chose the sexy option they get to spy, if they chose the tame option don't. Let's just say the O's really are looking to hurt themselves, as they always pick the sexier option and choose to watch.

Then at the end they do something with tiles that has an 'X' on one and an 'O' on another. This represents who they want to stay with, but they never really explain this or let us see what they do with these tiles.

This episode kills me. This guy is clearly a cheater. He cheated on his ex with his current girlfriend, and then cheats on his current girlfriend with his ex. Yes... you should be cross-eyed. Anyway, the ex's end up getting back together. You might has guessed this as the first thing he says is something like "My feeling for my ex haven't changed. I still want to bone her."

In short, it's like Jerry Springer in that if you are going to go on this show, be prepared to come back alone. These people are looking for a way out of their relationships. They are looking either to get back
with their ex, or prove their significant other isn't over their ex.




It is very much not like Jerry Springer in that it's good-looking, rich, heterosexual, college kids. Also it turns into some pretty tame softcore porno in the middle of the show.

Seasons of Love

Let's travel back to where it all began...

The Surreal Life 3: Just when reality TV was surely reaching it's absurdity peak, along came this crazy season of celebrities living together. This is when many people, white people, were first introduced to Mr. Flavor Flav (shown below). He was not real. How could this man exist in reality. Luckily for us VH1 was smart enough to acknowledge this in the show's title.
Just when this guy could not get any weirder, he met and fell in love with Bridgette Nielsen (I found about 4 different spellings for her name. Just know that it is pronounced with a European arrogance). Now, she is for sure the more mental of the two... mostly because she is from Denmark. Once the romance ignited on the show, they got their own spin-off called, aptly enough, "Strange Love."Well, needless to say, things didn't work out for the couple. Flavor's audience didn't respond well to the gigantic Aryan trying to dance on the stage with Public Enemy. In turn, Bridgette's friends didn't take to Flavor's manners and his musical styling at dinner. Don't fear, Flavor continued his search for love with his own show "Flavor of Love." Note: I refer to him as "Flavor of Life" in my everyday life.So again, the only people more crazy than Flav were the girls that were fighting to be with him. He is about 48 years-old, has 6 children with different women, and has been in jail. Great catch ladies. He narrowed it down to Hoopz (below left) and New York (below right). Oh, yeah, he gave them all nicknames because he couldn't remember their real ones -- how romantic. He ended up with Hoopz, and things didn't work out for them either. Will Flav ever find love?He sure tries! He has a "Flavor of Love 2" where New York makes it back to the final 2. He choses the other girl, who I don't remember, and I imagine that didn't work out either. Call me a pessimist. So Flavor is done, but wait there are more spin-offs, much much more!

There's "I Love New York" where New York gets to pick her man and "Flavor of Love: Charm School" where host Mo'Nique (warning: link has music) helps past contestants get some class by sending them to boot camp, and making them wear slutty school girl outfits.













People, this needs to stop. Okay... I admit I was eerily drawn to "Flavor of Love,"... okay obsessed, but now it is over - or rather it NEEDS to be over. However, my friends, it is NOT over! There is now coming an "I Love New York 2," which means 7 shows! Seriously, VH1, it's getting old.

Guilty Pleasure

The Girls Next Door (a.k.a. Hef's girlfriends) - When I first saw this show, I could not believe it was real, as in, really on my television screen. Then I couldn't believe how PG they made it. It's like the Brady Bunch, only Mr. Brady is banging his three adopted girls.


Seriously, though, it's a show about an old sugar daddy and his three young blond sex toys. These girls seem so endearing, and then as you realize what is going on, you begin to hate them. Hef seems to be constantly humoring the girls, which, I guess, what else could you do?


There is something so domestic and normal about the show and how everyone interacts with everyone else. They show girls taking naked pictures together, and that's just a day's work. I wonder how it would be to be surrounded by that kind of thing all the time. Would you get used to it all? What would you still consider shocking?


The three girls are so interesting or rather compelling to watch (yeah, yeah, besides the fact they are beautiful). They are grown-up children playing make-believe with a huge budget. They throw huge theme parties, dress-up, and buy lots of small dogs. It all seems kinda fun and kinda sad.