Sunday, April 29, 2007


I was at the bookstore the other day and there are just so many books I want to read. Mostly Blink, and The Artist's Way right now. I was looking through all the books I know I should read and want to read, and I started thinking about the books I read as a child. First the Jewish books:

Moral: stop complaining and enjoy what you have.

Lots of great stories in this one. I remember "Mazel and Shlimazel," most vividly.

Moral: umm... It could always be worse.

So then there are the classics:

Also let's take a good
look at Mr. Shel Silverstein...creepy.

Then the good ol' books:

Then the slightly less known:

Damn, stupid blogger. This took too long to format. Anyway, read a kid book sometime soon. It's so easy to do and so refreshingly nice. Or if you want to read an adult kid book check out The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy by Tim Burton.

Saturday, April 28, 2007


this morning. damn. today is a day for recovery.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Guilty Pleasure

The Girls Next Door (a.k.a. Hef's girlfriends) - When I first saw this show, I could not believe it was real, as in, really on my television screen. Then I couldn't believe how PG they made it. It's like the Brady Bunch, only Mr. Brady is banging his three adopted girls.

Seriously, though, it's a show about an old sugar daddy and his three young blond sex toys. These girls seem so endearing, and then as you realize what is going on, you begin to hate them. Hef seems to be constantly humoring the girls, which, I guess, what else could you do?

There is something so domestic and normal about the show and how everyone interacts with everyone else. They show girls taking naked pictures together, and that's just a day's work. I wonder how it would be to be surrounded by that kind of thing all the time. Would you get used to it all? What would you still consider shocking?

The three girls are so interesting or rather compelling to watch (yeah, yeah, besides the fact they are beautiful). They are grown-up children playing make-believe with a huge budget. They throw huge theme parties, dress-up, and buy lots of small dogs. It all seems kinda fun and kinda sad.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Brought to you by nataliedee

Don't be a jerk.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Studio Recording

Today I recorded six songs in a studio with my piano player. It was difficult to manage the time, quality, and quantity, but I am pretty happy with how it all turned out in the end. I would redo one song, and I would fix a part or two in some of the other ones, but overall good!

Anyway, if you want to hear them shoot me an e-mail or check out my acting web page (which I won't post here since it has my contact info on it).

UPDATE: Hey all you stalkers out there! My recital is on YouTube.

Monday, April 23, 2007

History Boys

The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone who is even long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken yours.
-Alan Bennett's The History Boys

I just saw the movie version. I don't know if I liked it all that much. It's a bit of Dead Poet's Society meets Doubt. Anyway, it is a very quotable script none-the-less.

A to the S grade: B
Teacher Comments: Decent work, but please speak more clearly in the future.

An Acting Outline

I was helping out some freshmen with their auditions tonight, and I thought back on what I have learned all 4 years here. I made this outline:

So, I thought I knew all that stuff before I came here. I did know it, intellectually, but not so much in practice. It is interesting looking at this same list of terms in such a different way, knowing I still don't understand everything fully. I don't really know where "being bold" fits in quite yet... I am thinking tactics or maybe also being brave enough to trust yourself. I'm still questioning it all, but that outline is basically what I am left with - in order to start to find it.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

It's Recital Time, People!

I am gonna poop my pants. My recital is tomorrow. Nine songs, a piano, and a stool.

I am sad because some of my closest friends can't come due to travel and The Scarecrow, the opera. Although, I wish I had known and changed the date to later, I am glad it will all be over soon! I am looking forward to a stress-free last few weeks of school.

Anyway, for my own records, here is the program:

"Gimme Gimme" by Scanlan & Tesori

"Stars & The Moon" by Jason Robert Brown

"I’d Rather Be Sailing" by William Finn

"Vodka" by Hammerstein II & George Gershwin

"Black Coffee" by Webster & Burke

"Taylor the Latte Boy" by Heisler & Goldrich

"When Did I Fall In Love?" by Jerry Bock

"Climbing Uphill" by Jason Robert Brown

"The Girl in 14G" by Scanlan & Tesori

Kent Conrad, piano
Dawn Harris, voice teacher

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ron Mueck

Check him out at

Virginia Tech Vigil

I went to this Vigil on the quad last night to pay my respects, be a supportive part of my community, and take some time out of my day to think about the horrific tragedy that was the shootings at Virginia Tech.

Unfortunately, this "interfaith" vigil was used as a commercial to join a religion. There were Methodists, Jews, Muslims, etc. All had about 5 minutes in which they explained their own religion, and said a prayer from their faith. The Korean Church played a pop song over speakers, the Jewish woman called the shooting a second Holocaust...seriously, seriously- what the hell is wrong with people? Everyone's speeches were so forced, and the whole thing was so hippie and cheesy. The turn out of students was embarrassingly small.

Luckily, though, the media was there to capture crying faces lit by tea light candles in Dixie cups.

Basically, it reassured me that organized religion is not for me.

P.S. Why did they release that kid's video, and give him what he wanted? Now we got stupid shit like this

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

An Illusion of a Good Movie...(hehe, i'm clever)

Yeah, so I just watched The Illusionist. Not good.

A to the S grade: C-
Teacher Comments: I expected more from you.

The Prestige

Since I received a comment about The Prestige, I will catch-up on my posting by starting with that movie. I will speak generally about the movie making it safe to read if you haven't seen it.

Let's first start by listing the cast: Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Piper Perabo, Scarlett Johansson, and David Bowie to name a few. This was the magic movie I wanted to see... not the Jessica Biel Illustionist one. Anyway, I just rented The Illunionist and I will report back which is actually the better magic movie.

Director Christopher Nolan of Memento and Batman Begins (great films) adds his crazy non-linear touch to this movie. This lead to my confusion and intense interest in solving the first half of the movie. There are many turns with-in turns, and reveals through time and flashbacks. My advice: Do not get discouraged! Wait out the journal sequences as it all makes sense later on in the movie. I need to watch it at least one more time to appreciate the hints given from the journals.

Although the movie is about magic, it is really about pure passion. Sacrificing your entire life for your passion, to leave a legacy, or to feel loved in your lifetime. Two men struggle to be the best, giving-up their family, lovers, money, and even their own identity. This reminds me of my post about giving up your personality to become great. Only they give-up their entire person to do achieve greatness.

What is so interesting about this movie is it doesn't comment on the fact that these two men have become obsessed with their trade. They both took similar routes to be great, but both men had an entirely different outlook on life and what "greatness" meant. I switched sides constantly during the movie, and was left liking both of the men in the end. It was hard to tell if their lives were actually sad, pathetic ones or if they had truly made the most of their time here on earth. I think by the last scene, I ended up feeling that they hadn't made a mistake sacrificing what they did. (Audience participation: What did you think?)

What is so intriguing about this movie is nothing is ever fully explained, shown, or answered. The audience has the same knowledge or less than the characters for the entire movie, which completely destroys any dramatic irony and replaces it with surprise and intrigue.

The machine at the end is a bit far fetched, but the outcome is a very dark and fitting solution. Anyway, I thought about this movie after it was over for quite some time, and want to watch it again. The acting is pretty good, and cinematography is beautiful (especially the morgue, and the mountain scenes).

So what did you think about it?

A to the S grade: A-
Teacher Comments: Interesting ideas! Next time make sure someone proof reads your work.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Coming Soon To A Blog Near You

yeah, yeah, i know. i will post soon. lots to talk about, and not enough time to do it.


I Love New York
The Prestige
Maybe something insightful or fun

til then-

a to the s

Friday, April 13, 2007

Hehe... cool

Okay the first 40 seconds are really the best part.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Miss Shawn Colvin says...

It was never clear what would come but that's the risk and that's the test
And you were the only one so far to follow
And no one talks about when one might stop and need to rest
Or how long you sit alone before you stop looking back
It's like you're waiting for Godot
And then you pick your sorry ass up off the street and

And what the hell is this? Who made this bloody mess?
And someone always answers like a martyr
Is it something you should know, did you never do your best
Would you be saved if you were brave and just tried harder

--If I Were Brave

and Mister Amos Lee says...

We all need a place that we can go and feel over the rainbow

Some times we forget what we got
And who we are and who we are not
I think we got a chance to make it right
Keep it loose
Keep it tight
Keep it tight

--Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Pomp and Circumstance

It's getting to be that time, people! I just ordered my cap and gown today. This means I will graduate... soon. All very exciting. The time is flying by, and that is just fine by me. However, I am sure I will be sobbing like a baby when it is time to go.

Monday, April 9, 2007

To Post, or Not To Post

So after that very sad last post, I have begun to wonder about having a blog. It really is mostly for me, unless I have a fun video or story to tell. I realize that anyone can read this, and worry, or judge. I don't know how I feel about that. I am going to decide this week if I will be keeping up on this... or maybe just being more selective as to what I post.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

'S' is for Shitty

Hi. Today I feel shitty. I feel shitty about:

my body
my face
my singing
my acting
my clothes
my hair
my headshots
my personality

I hate these kinds of days. I don't know where they come from, or how I get to this place. It's like I woke-up and I was a new, shitty person for some unknown reason. I am full of doubt, and stress, and unhappiness. I have started comparing myself to others, and treating my acting like a school assignment. I feel like a freshmen all over again. I was in such a nice transitional place, but it all came crashing down somehow. I hope this passes soon.

***UPDATE 10:28PM*** I got to relax the rest of the day. I put on a little mascara, got a chocolate scone, and watched "Mean Girls" on TV. In short, I feel a little better.

Friday, April 6, 2007

It's Reefer Madness!!!

In a good way, though! This show is so funny and the songs are fun and catchy. My roommate's production of it was fabulous! His direction brought the fun, wit, and themes to the forefront of the show and it was stellar. I am just beaming with pride. My parents and sister made it in to see it and they loved it as well. The acting and singing are perfectly fit to the style of the piece, and the tech is wonderfully kitchy (sp?). The show is great on its own, but the music adds so much to it, rather than being put on top of it. Anyway, if you read this and live in town, go see it at midnight or tomorrow at 7:30, cause it's awesome and FREE!!! Also, there are brownies.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Judgement Day

That is one of the funnier bumper stickers I have seen in my lifetime. Seriously, though, there are 2 people in this world. People who "get it", and people who don't. And I have to say, I can only deal with the latter for about 2 hours tops. Let me try to clarify who these people are. Mostly, it refers to a person who focuses on the least important thing- details and never the "big picture." You know, that person, who doesn't know to stop the joke because someone's feelings are getting hurt or what they are saying will get them into trouble? That type of stuff.

In acting class we talk a lot about our habits, and who we are as people as it relates to the work. An interesting concept was being able to "let go" of your personality in order to become great. This was something I had never considered, and I never thought I would have to do. As the class began speaking about what they need to "give-up" in their personality, I started to wonder myself. Just as we were about to change subjects, it hit me. Hard. I have to let go of judging people.

To my surprise, I felt more at ease in rehearsals, and dealing in general with people almost immediately. I am not there fully, or even halfway yet, but at least I am aware of it and trying to change. In general, I have really been trying to take life as it comes, let go of expectations, and trust that everything will turn out alright. I am not being lazy, by any means. I just do the work and trust that I am prepared. Adding stress just does not help any situation, whether you are prepared or not.

Anyway, as of late, I have been beyond stressed. Mostly, dealing with adults who act like children, and young adults that act like young teenagers. Sometimes I just want to shake these people. Sometimes I just wonder what their childhoods were like. Other times I just want to drill a hole in my head...your Yiddish lesson for today is "hole in the head" or LOCH IN KOP. The 'CH' is the throat clearing thing, guys.

So, anyway, I am attempting to find my way back to being at peace again. I have to be disciplined enough to go to a place of "it will be O.K." especially when things get really stressful. Maybe more yoga would help....


Tuesday, April 3, 2007

My Tummy...

If you were to poke my tummy right now, it would feel like pudding...but please DON'T poke it. It is angry with me. I ate 2 1/2 big cookies with milk from that stupid Insomnia Cookie place. I paid about $8.02 with tax and tip to get 6 warm, delicious cookies delivered to my door. I think the money and the tummy ache are well worth it.


P.S. On an unrelated note, FB and me are in a fight.

My New Comic

my friend josh and i are making a comic. we are planning on it being really popular and making us lots of money. we'll probably make about 700 million dollars, so he can buy the cubs. here is the first one:

click the pictue to enlarge and read the text

Sunday, April 1, 2007

The Road Not Taken, or I Am A Living Cliché

I was driving back today from chi-town to the cornfields, and and the sky was blue in front of me and gray behind me. It created this beautiful lighting and these surreal clouds. I have always wanted to go on a long road trip with a few close friends, take pictures, eat shitty food, listen to mixes...ya know that sorta stuff. I am hoping to do something like that this summer. I dunno who or where or when, but I am gonna try to make it happen.

This trip back to Chicago was a reality check. Everyone is seriously asking how I am going to make money. It is the first time I actually felt stupid saying I am going to be an actor. I had to explain I was looking for a day job, apartment, etc. I really had a WTF moment. I mean WTF am I gonna do? I have put myself in a position of never becoming financially stable. I don't have any other real skill either. The only option for the future is to go back and get a teaching certificate. That is slim pickings. I have faith in my talent and work ethic, so I hope the right opportunity presents itself to me.

Luckily, my parents are very supportive emotionally as well as financially. They have been asking me about what other jobs I can do to supplement myself as I start out as an unknown actor in Chicago. I hate the food industry. It is so stressful. I think I need something like, office receptionist or filing or working at a book store. Anyway, I am hoping something unconventional comes up, that will pay me well, and let me make my own hours. That is the ideal anyway...and believe me, I know, unrealistic.

On other note Blades of Glory was much funnier than I expected. Will Arnett is very funny, and I wish there was more of him. Pam, from "The Office" is in it, and is also very good. See it in the theatres. I think an audience helps it out a good deal. I am excited to see Vacancy. I don't like gory movies, and this one looks to be an escape film. I normally don't do well with scary movies, but this one looks promising.