Monday, August 20, 2007

Relationships & People Are Dumb

Michelle just blogged about Craig's list which I've been on looking for an apartment and a job. After reading her entry I looked at "missed connections" and then "Men seeking Women." WOW. I hate men. Can we just take a look at this excerpt:

I must be looking in all the wrong places because I'm having a hard time finding "the girl of my dreams". Question is, does she really even exist? So far the answer to that question would be no, but I hoping I am wrong.

You: Must be between the ages of 21 and 25, over 25 is stretching it. I like short girls around 5' to 5'8". Have an athletic/average size body build with a tight butt. You dont have to have the biggest chest...but a small butt helps a lot! Hair color is really not a factor as long as it is not something outrageous like pink. Must like to wear high heels and look stunning most of the time. Lingerie collection should be substanial and not affraid to wear it behind closed doors.

Alright. Where to start... well maybe "the girl of your dreams" doesn't exist because your dreams are too shallow to allow any woman of substance into them. In this case, substance meaning: that which has mass and occupies space; matter.

I love that he is concerned that some female will read this and think 'but what if he doesn't like my hair color!' Good thing he put their minds at ease. Now they can worry about if their underwear is up to par, and if they look stunning 75% or 90% of the time. To be fair, this guy does want more than just a model running around:

Enough of the physical traits, please also be smart, honest, caring, not self conceeded and have values. There is nothing more sexy then a girl who is down to earth.

Hahahaha. Could this guy at least spell-check his entry before asking for a smart girl? 'Self conceited'... well is there any other kind Mr. Redundant Sir? What girl with any values would be interested in a guy who wants a girl like this? Also, what kind of girl who walks around in high heels and corsets all day is 'down to earth'?

Okay, what really gets me about this, is WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS? Why does he deserve this 'perfect' woman? What the hell does he have to offer:

As for me, I am 25 yrs old, 6'2" 200 lbs, brown hair, athletic/average build, green/brown eyes. I love sports, playing, watching you name it I like it. I have a boat and love to go boating. I have a professional career and I am racing up the later quicker then anyone else has in the past.

I hope the 'later' you are climbing has nothing to do with our education system. Yes. Yes.... this is just a stupid Craig's list entry, and maybe isn't even real. I'm gonna guess it is, though. I'll give you my entry:

I'm an intelligent human being who is passionate. I am looking for someone who is also intelligent and passionate. I would like to be attracted to you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Usually this means you are decent looking, completed college, and are honest. If you know a play by Shakespeare, a painting by Van Gogh, and what a conjunction is, please respond.

Well something like that. I dunno.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

God, men are disgusting.

P.S.--Here is my lesbian response to your hypothetical Craigslist post:

I was thumbing through my copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare when I felt oddly compelled to check "Missed Connections" on Craigslist. Thank goodness I did! Your post immediately caught my eye, and although I never do this, I just had to respond. I am also an intelligent, passionate human with a bachelor's degree. I'm not terrifying to look at, I'm very honest, and I carry a tote bag from the Art Institute with Van Gogh flowers on it. (Have you ever been to the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam? It's fabulous!)

If you want to ever want to get together to talk about grammar or musical theatre, e-mail me back!

Your Lesbian Soulmate